Predicting The Future by Deepika Bhatnagar

An image announcing that the runner up of the second blog competition is Deepika Bhatnagar

Being a mum, you always think and plan about your baby’s future, especially when you are a first time mum.

I was over the moon, thinking I am the most luckiest person on earth when I became a mother. Since the day I knew I was pregnant, I started thinking of a name, thinking about my baby’s school and yes please don’t laugh, I did even seen my grandkids in my dreams. I had planned picnics with them and was thinking I will be the best mother for my kids.

Suddenly one day, all smiles fade away, dreams got broken and I was questioning my existence and all this happens why – Because I gave birth to Deaf baby.

Through out my whole life, I had never met Deaf person. Everyone hears congratulations when you have a baby but I heard – “ I am sorry, your son is deaf”.

Plans for thinking future changed to what I need to do now. I don’t know signing and I even don’t know how can I help him.

It was very hard to bring myself back but again back to mum thing – what will happen in future?

I even don’t know why my 3 year old boy is crying as there was no communication medium. It was the most heart breaking time for me. I was not able to tell my son how much I love him and I wish I could vanish all his sufferings and pain.

After that, I started speaking to deaf people. Thank God, they have good patience. I started talking to them via typing message or using pen/paper.

Before I was thinking that if you are deaf, you can’t do anything. But talking to the Deaf community, I realised Deafness is not a Disability. It’s just different way of communication which is BSL.

What will you do if you don’t know the German language and you are talking to a German boy? It doesn’t mean the German boy is stupid!

Both sides need a common medium of communication. Understanding this took some time but as a mum – plans of my son’s future again started appearing in my dreaming world which were hidden by dark clouds before.

Now the fight starts for making his future. I need to work on foundation of communication. My son started going to Special school for Deaf kids – Heathlands School in St Albans. I started learning level 1 BSL.

He started school in September and on 5th October my son said I love you Mum. These are the first words or first sign of him. You can imagine my feelings, I am crying even now while thinking about that moment.

Thanks to the school who gave me back my smile and confidence by helping me and my son by teaching language.

Now, my son is in year 3 and I am learning BSL level 4. Not surprisingly, my son is the one who teaches me most of the signs now, correct me when I do wrong signing. Sometimes I feel its my duty to teach him language but in my case its other way around.

Sometimes I feel how he will survive in hearing world, what job he will do, how he will find his love…a typical mum thing.

But when I look him smiling, sharing his stories, I know he will do good for himself in future. It will be hard but he will do it. There is no point of predicting the future, instead it’s time to celebrate each and every day as I have most precious gift from God – my son.

Battles will go on with EHCP, finding an appropriate school for him, struggles in finding interpreters but I am not going to waste my TODAY by thinking about the future. I would like to stay with my son and embrace my motherhood as strong foundations and great memories will build his future.

(Please note that this article was written by an external author and any views expressed do not represent Signature)

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